BYBF: Is Your Ambition Holding You Back?
Let's Redefine "Perfectionism" Today!
Welcome to Be Your Best Friend with Anangsha: the Sunday newsletter that constantly keeps checking what’s holding it back from being the best version of itself.
Today, I wanted to discuss the concept of perfectionism with you.
Recently, researchers have begun to distinguish between two distinct types of perfectionism,
‘‘Healthy’’ perfectionism that helps a person continually strive to improve themselves and their work, and
Maladaptive or ‘‘unhealthy’’ perfectionism that fills them up with perpetual discontent, a strong criticism of their own work, and a sense of never meeting their own expectations.
This is made more evident by the example social psychologist Thomas Curran explains in his brilliant TED Talk,
“And we think to ourselves, “Once I’ve reached that summit, then people will see I’m not flawed, and I’ll be worth something.” But what perfectionism doesn’t tell us is that soon after reaching that summit, we will be called down again to the fresh lowlands of insecurity and shame, just to try and scale that peak again. This is the cycle of self-defeat. In the pursuit of unattainable perfection, a perfectionist just cannot step off. And it’s why it’s so difficult to treat.”
In this world filled with infinite possibilities, life will often defeat us. But, that’s alright. Failure does not mean you are weak. Don’t hold yourself a prisoner to this self-defeating snare of impossible perfection. Only then will you be able to detangle yourself from impossible expectations and truly let your creativity soar.
Of course, being a perfectionist is not necessarily bad. Perfectionists are typically bright, ambitious, diligent, and hardworking. But it is important to practice a little bit of self-compassion. We should learn to go easy on ourselves, especially when things don’t go according to plan.
There is beauty in imperfection. It is as much a normal and natural part of everyday living and loving, as the desire for success is.
In other news, you’d know I rarely ever write recipes online. But my mother used to make this delicious Maggi pakode (fritters) with mango pickle, that’s so delicious, I thought it’s a crime if I didn’t share it with you people. Here’s a link:
I also had a chat with multiple-times Medium Top Writer, Sinem Guenel about what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur. The chat was filled with amazing insights that can help any person start their journey.
That’s all I have to say today. What are some interesting things you’ve planned for the last two weeks of 2020? Are you spending it alone or with your family? Reply to this email to let me know.
Thanks for reading and sticking with me. You are awesome. I’ll see you again next Sunday.
Lots of love,