BYBF: Questions to Ask Yourself When You're Sad

Not everything is your fault. Sometimes identifying the core emotion can help you deal with sadness better.

Hey you!

Welcome to Be Your Best Friend with Anangsha: the Sunday newsletter that tries its best to pull itself up when life gets too much to bear.

No matter how good things go or how hard we work, it’s natural that one day or another, something will happen that will bring everything else crashing down. Sadness is the other side of the happiness coin (remember the movie Inside Out?). We cannot completely eliminate it, no matter what.

But then again, we can control how many people we give the power to make us sad. For example, I was talking to an old friend yesterday evening. We were catching up after two weeks and had lots of news to share. But the first thing she told me when she spotted me was - “You’re looking pale. Is everything alright?”

Everything was alright. I slept 8 hours the previous night, and have been working out and eating healthy for a while now. In spite of all that, why was I still looking pale? This almost sent me into a spiral, before I had to woman up and stop myself.

My friend’s statement means she thinks I look pale. It’s a subjective matter and several others might have a different opinion. Her remark doesn't reflect on how I’m looking, and hence, I shouldn’t let it affect my mood.

This got me thinking - how many people have I given the power to make me sad?

And so, to take the power of other people (and sadness) away, here are a few questions you can ask yourself each time you feel sad:

  1. Why am I sad? Is it because someone said something rude, or is it because you are worried what they said might be true.

  2. What is the core issue? If you’re terrified that whatever rude comment the other person made might be true, what does it say about you? Are you, in any way, insecure about your looks or traits? Are you trying hard to project an image of “perfection” and are concerned about not letting it break?

  3. What if whatever they said IS true? Okay, maybe their opinion is right, and whatever rude thing they said about you is true. What then? How does it affect your goals and priorities?

  4. Will it matter 1 hour, 1 day, or 1 month down the line? What about 1 year? Chances are, you won’t even remember this incident after one year. If it’s so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, why are you even wasting time worrying about it?

I’m concluding with a quote by the Buddha for you to think and ponder upon:

“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.”

In other news, here are some articles I’ve recently written that you might enjoy:

What Happens When the World’s Second-Most Populated Country Shies Away From Sex Education

Read Like a Writer to Become a More Compelling Storyteller

Acknowledging Your Luck Might Make You Happier and More Likeable

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That’s all from my end today. I’ll see you again next Sunday. Till then, stay strong. Keep smiling and be awesome.

With love,